I recently read a blog about a fellow singer songwriter in the Los Angeles community who passed away from cancer at a young age. Her name is Jenny Pagliaro and she belongs to a duo called, “Roses and Cigarettes.” I did not know her, but the info that she had passed away popped up on my Facebook news feed and I clicked on the link. She had been documenting her journey on a blog called “The Breast Cancer Chronicles” and I read her last blog post titled, “Giving In.” It was posted on December 10th, 2018. A little more than a year later, she was gone.Read More
When I moved to Los Angeles to pursue music awhile back-I was the fairly typical person who was not from L.A. and had dreams of making something out of my life then what I could do in a small town. I didn't know anyone in the music industry or community. I was the new kid-again.Read More
There was a brief period in my musical life where I was called, “Dead Fox.” I was 31 years old and was trying to separate from the folky style of my music by giving myself a cool indie name.Read More
Every year there is a buildup to the big day-the new year. There are so many expectations and stresses around the holidays, and I get freaked out more and more about the “routine” of it all-so I kind of stopped caring, which is not necessarily a good thing. I have always been the kind of person to break away from traditions; not to necessarily be a rebel, but mostly because I feel the magic and specialness around them gets forgotten.
Once again it's a new year and people are talking about their resolutions; and even though I may not always voice mine-I have them. Every year around the turn of the change over-I reflect on the year before and what I want for the next. This year the word resolution bothered me-I know what it means, but sometimes these words we throw around at parties lose their meaning and their spark-so I looked up the dictionary definition to remind myself exactly what it means.
Resolution: “A firm decision to do or not to do something.” Pretty simple, but wow-kind of scary. I had forgotten about the firm part. Whenever I make a firm decision to do something, I feel a lot of pressure-that's actually served me well on my music journey when I have given myself “resolutions” to complete a music career goal in a certain time frame. It has also given me a lot of disappointment when I didn't complete something. I still remember the stinging feeling when I was giving myself a deadline to complete a music project and was stressed out; and someone telling me “why are you so stressed out?-it's not like Capitol Records is waiting for your project to be complete.” Yes, that was true-but that should not be the deciding factor to giving myself a deadline for my goals. Resolutions are for ourselves. Having said that, it's important not to make ourselves sick over our goals. We feel really good proclaiming our resolutions-and really bad when we don't follow through. I don't know about you, but I've grown tired of the incredible highs and lows of resolutions and have been exploring a more fluid way of sticking with the tradition, but not beating myself up over it. In reaching many of my music goals, the fiery passion and excitement I have for music fueled my drive to stick with it, but it did not necessarily happen in my resolution time frame. Some of my goals took more years to complete than I imagined, but I always kept them in my mind and heart, and smiled and felt excited when I thought about them-dreaming, fantasizing, making plans of action, small steps, talking and writing about them; made my resolutions part of the fabric of my life and not separate.
Life is going to happen around our resolutions; constantly changing; fairly unpredictable and a lot of it out of our control. Though a firm statement of purpose is a wonderful launching point, we might want to “go with the flow” and see over time how our dreams and goals change as new information and opportunities present themselves.
I found this packet of inspirational quote cards for every day of the year, but the same one has been stuck on the mantle for over two years now because I love it so much. It also explains what I am talking about perfectly:
I always hated the holidays. Although I have had pretty much only lucky and good ones, it reminds me of hard times growing up, guilt and loneliness. This holiday I woke up alone on Christmas morning and was sick in bed for several days-left to evaluate my life; to put it under the microscope once again.Read More