Why I am not Coming to Your Event...Right Now…


In the summer, I have no day job with zero regular income coming in, so during that time I become a full-time musician supporting myself solely with music and a little savings that I don’t like to dip in to. I have no “team” per se. I am my own booking agent, PR agency and business consultant. It’s a full-time job, and unfortunately begins way before the summer when I am out of a job, but right in the middle of my 30-40 hour a day work week. During this time, I am also working 30 hours or more on music. People ask me all the time how that is even possible; I mean, if I am working at another job, how do I manage to fit an additional 30 hours a week into my schedule? Currently, I do substitute teaching, and a lot of times you will have a prep period, some down time, and of course lunch and breaks. Those are all times I am working on my music; answering emails, booking shows, making flyers, doing PR, interviews, working on my blog, my music side business, updating my websites, submitting to opportunities, working on future music plans- and that doesn’t even scratch the surface of what I do. I also fit in time when I am in line at the grocery store, walking the dog, waiting for food at a restaurant, when someone else is driving, on the weekends and during the evenings in the week.  In winter, before my summer tour begins, it is crunch time. To book my tour schedule for summer, I must start at least 6 months in advance. I spend more time than usual during this period on my laptop researching opportunities in different towns, securing places to stay, negotiating my compensation and figuring out the complicated puzzle of traveling to many different places on limited resources.  

  Often, I have to give up a lot of my “free time” and can’t really go out much and support my friends that have shows or events. This makes me feel terrible sometimes, especially when they are supporting me. It also gets pricey going to events and sometimes I have to budget and go into money saving mode.


  As an independent artist, I’m constantly working towards a future that includes better finances, stability and more free time. I put a lot of pressure on myself to stay focused as the path of the music industry is a difficult path. There are a ton of sacrifices and I sometimes question whether or not it is worth the stress and lack of a “regular” life. Then I get on the road or am engrossed in a creative project that I see to its fruition; put my music out there and get a nice review and email that my music touched someone; write a new song and sing and play guitar for my supporters or strangers-and it’s the most exhilarating and fulfilling experience that brings me so much joy. Sometimes doing what you want to do in life is not as easy as it should be, but there is nothing else besides music that I want to do….

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More writings from Music Emerging:

A Simple Wish

Age is Just a Number: Aging in the Music Industry

Your Music’s Not Literal Enough: Story Songs vs. Poetic Songs

Coaching Services: www.musicemerging.com/coaching


Cynthia is just about to go on her second 8 state tour! You can support her on Patreon-even for a limited time while she is on the road! Check out the support tiers-for $30 she will send you postcards and goodies from the road!


Giving In is not Giving Up

I recently read a blog about a fellow singer songwriter in the Los Angeles community who passed away from cancer at a young age. Her name is Jenny Pagliaro and she belongs to a duo called, “Roses and Cigarettes.” I did not know her, but the info that she had passed away popped up on my Facebook news feed and I clicked on the link. She had been documenting her journey on a blog called “The Breast Cancer Chronicles” and I read her last blog post titled, “Giving In.” It was posted on December 10th, 2018. A little more than a year later, she was gone.

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POEINA-An Artists Rise to Destiny

As a struggling artist myself, I’m drawn to those stories of hardships. We all go through difficult times and to hear someone tell the story of their very personal journey makes us not feel so alone. In keeping in line with the mission of Music Emerging to provide emotional support and inspiration, I invite you to read the story of Los Angeles artist Poeina, and to check out her Kickstarter. You can support her dreams by making a donation or sharing her story!

Revolution of Roses

Revolution of Roses

“I remember hearing the story again and again about when I was a young girl my dad came running into my room looking for the bad guy because I was screaming my head off.  In a panic, my dad sees me standing on my bed over excited.  I proclaimed then that I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up and that I was going to be a singer.  I knew as a child that it was my purpose and destiny to be a singer and performer.  I didn’t take that responsibility lightly and struggled in my early years with what kind of influence I needed to be in the world.  

I started training at age 3; then I was put on my first major label tour at age 17; with a band playing electric guitar and singing backup vocals.  When I turned 18, I was sexually assaulted by two of the band mates, one of them being high on methamphetamines.  On top of the stress of PTSD and falling into drugs and eating disorders, I felt like I was being pushed towards stardom in mainstream music.  I was terrified that I was going to end up famous with nothing worthy to write about and I would end up over dosing on drugs.  It was like I saw my future flash before me.  I met a girl playing guitar on the sidewalk and I ran away to play in a band with her… I ran away from everything.  

I traveled for years non-stop living amongst different cultures in the U.S. and listening to peoples stories and engaging in community everywhere I went.  I had odd jobs between gigs and tours that I booked for myself and the bands I created.  I volunteered, lived off the grid and even worked on farms in trade for food. When I was in the cities I did a lot of urban foraging and dumpster diving to supplement playing at coffee shops and bars for tips and meager wages.  I battled from mental illness, lived in and out of cars and moved from place to place.  I eventually lost all hope and realized I needed to stop running and face my nightmares.  

I spent a couple years focused on healing while I worked as a teacher at a small private music school in Portland, OR.  During this time I purged all my pain and suffering into a multimedia show of my original music that ended up with a 30+ cast and crew.  The show was about losing all hope and survival through it all.  Shortly after the production ended, I packed up my van and drove down to Los Angeles.  I decided I had all the stories I needed and that it was time to submit to my destiny.  

Los Angeles has been hard but I’ve been through plenty and knew I only needed to survive and eventually I would make my way.  I have been homeless a few times in this city too, but thankfully there have been many angels who have taken me in and helped me grow through the struggles of pursuing my dream.  The first year I was here I played seemingly endless shows to no one but the bartender and venue owners.  I started playing open mics 4-5 times a week so that I could build my mailing list and meet new people.  This led to many show opportunities, radio interviews, and a few tours on independent labels.  I interned at a record label so I could decide if I would sign to a label or remain an independent artist.  

I got a job making costumes and performance wear to help me stay afloat.  This lead me to freelance costume work and eventually I became a celebrity costume designer.   I was at a party and someone asked “what do you do?” To my reply, I said that I make costumes and I’m a designer.  I am so grateful for the person who interrupted the conversation to say “don’t listen to her-she does do that but that’s not all she does.  She is a musician, a singer and a songwriter.”  Realizing I was losing my identity in this other world I started cleaning houses to refocus on my music again.  Now I make costumes when I want to and mostly for myself and my band mates.  


Today I remain an independent artist but now I have a whole team supporting me and working to elevate my talents.  Through hard work and dedication my fan base is growing.  I’ve made all the connections I need to release my upcoming album and go on a world tour with my all star band and management team.  Finances still remain an issue for me as an artist even though I’m on the precipice of a huge breakthrough.  I decided to use Kickstarter and the support of my friends, family and fans to help get me to the next level.  I need to finish 3 tracks, my music video and have a little money for rebranding and marketing.  From there my team will be able to submit my press kit to a handful of investors who have shown interest in my story.  They will also be able to hand off my kit to the booking agents and promoters who are waiting to book me worldwide.  When I can cross this kickstarter line my whole life will shift into studio sessions, rehearsals, and preparing my show for the road!  The Revolution of Roses is live on Kickstarter and you can donate as little as $1 to help my dreams come true.   Thank you for reading my story and you can find more information about the ROR tour and my incredible team on my kickstarter page”.  ~POEINA 

Poeina’s Website

Donate to Poeina’s Kickstarter campaign

We welcome your COMMENTS below! Music Emerging responds to every comment! Click “Subscribe via-email” to get an email alert when a new comment appears.

More writings from Music Emerging:

A Simple Wish

Age is Just a Number: Aging in the Music Industry

Your Music’s Not Literal Enough: Story Songs vs. Poetic Songs

Reclaiming and Proclaiming our Resolutions

Every year there is a buildup to the big day-the new year. There are so many expectations and stresses around the holidays, and I get freaked out more and more about the “routine” of it all-so I kind of stopped caring, which is not necessarily a good thing. I have always been the kind of person to break away from traditions; not to necessarily be a rebel, but mostly because I feel the magic and specialness around them gets forgotten.

Once again it's a new year and people are talking about their resolutions; and even though I may not always voice mine-I have them. Every year around the turn of the change over-I reflect on the year before and what I want for the next. This year the word resolution bothered me-I know what it means, but sometimes these words we throw around at parties lose their meaning and their spark-so I looked up the dictionary definition to remind myself exactly what it means.

Resolution: “A firm decision to do or not to do something.” Pretty simple, but wow-kind of scary. I had forgotten about the firm part. Whenever I make a firm decision to do something, I feel a lot of pressure-that's actually served me well on my music journey when I have given myself “resolutions” to complete a music career goal in a certain time frame. It has also given me a lot of disappointment when I didn't complete something. I still remember the stinging feeling when I was giving myself a deadline to complete a music project and was stressed out; and someone telling me “why are you so stressed out?-it's not like Capitol Records is waiting for your project to be complete.” Yes, that was true-but that should not be the deciding factor to giving myself a deadline for my goals. Resolutions are for ourselves. Having said that, it's important not to make ourselves sick over our goals. We feel really good proclaiming our resolutions-and really bad when we don't follow through. I don't know about you, but I've grown tired of the incredible highs and lows of resolutions and have been exploring a more fluid way of sticking with the tradition, but not beating myself up over it. In reaching many of my music goals, the fiery passion and excitement I have for music fueled my drive to stick with it, but it did not necessarily happen in my resolution time frame. Some of my goals took more years to complete than I imagined, but I always kept them in my mind and heart, and smiled and felt excited when I thought about them-dreaming, fantasizing, making plans of action, small steps, talking and writing about them; made my resolutions part of the fabric of my life and not separate.

Life is going to happen around our resolutions; constantly changing; fairly unpredictable and a lot of it out of our control. Though a firm statement of purpose is a wonderful launching point, we might want to “go with the flow” and see over time how our dreams and goals change as new information and opportunities present themselves.

I found this packet of inspirational quote cards for every day of the year, but the same one has been stuck on the mantle for over two years now because I love it so much. It also explains what I am talking about perfectly: