Essays-Shanna O'Brien

Music Emerging has collected essays from four musical women, a musical trio and myself. A simple word: struggles. I asked these women to send me essays about their musical journeys and their struggles. Hope you find inspiration in these personal stories.

Shanna O'Brien-Bakersfield, CA

 

     "I was born in LaGrange, Georgia but didn’t live there long because six months after I was born my dad, who was a career Army officer, was transferred to Germany. Mom went on to have 5 kids and I was the oldest. I can’t remember when I didn’t sing.  Growing up we had talent shows in our back yard and Dad always asked me to sing my favorite songs every night at the dinner table --  songs like Berle Ives, “Little White Duke,” “High Hopes” and “Jimmy Crack Corn.”  Music was a part of our everyday life, with Mother singing her favorite hymns while cooking in our busy kitchen to Grandmother whistling her favorite folk songs while she puttered around the house. My Dad was eventually stationed at Ft. Benning, GA and we lived in Columbus.  It was there at the age of 10, that I had a defining moment when I “knew” I was a real singer.  I was a member of our church choir and one Sunday, during the morning service, the Preacher asked me to sing “The Lord’s Prayer.”  I was sweaty and petrified standing at the alter that warm Georgia morning. But when I looked out at the congregation and saw everyone smiling and nodding to each other, I got goose bumps of happiness all over my body.  After I finished singing, I heard the church bells ring and I ran to Mom and Dad and told them I knew what I was supposed to do with my life.  My Dad smiled and told me I did a great job and then he said, “You can sing all the songs you want to Sweetheart – just be sure you learn to type.”  Well that actually turned out to be good advice -- but at the time it felt liked my dreams had been squashed like a bug.

As I grew up, all kinds of music played on our 78 stereo record player – musicals like “Flower Drum Song,” and standards by Peggy Lee, Julie London and Harry Belafonte.  I loved that music -- but really came alive when I first heard Buddy Holly sing, “Oh Boy” and “Rave On” and Brenda Lee sing, “Sweet Nothin’” and “I’m Sorry” on the radio and then along came Elvis, Connie Frances, Bob Dylan, Joan Baez and the Beatles – and I was in musical heaven listening to my little AM radio in my bedroom, learning every song by heart, dancing around the room and singing into my hairbrush microphone.

I married at 19 and soon had two children.  I didn’t want to have children right away but the Viet Nam war was raging and my husband, who had just graduated from college, suddenly became eligible for the draft.  He came to me the morning he received his draft change notification, which said I had to be pregnant within 9 months or he would be drafted.  What choice did I have?  So my son was born within one and a half years of our marriage. I was barely 21.  I still had aspirations of being a singer but knew those dreams would have to be on the back burner for quite some time because of starting a family.

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Soon my husband was offered a job in Hawaii where he opened the first TV Guide Magazine office.  While living on the island of Oahu, where my daughter was born, I went to a José Feliciano concert and was lucky enough to sit only a few feet away from the stage. I was so moved by José’s performance that I went straight away and bought a classical guitar that sat around gathering dust until the day I heard “bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air” – the song was “Clouds” by Joni Mitchell.  I did my best to learn that song but the rigors of taking care of two little kids made it quite difficult to have any time to myself for learning songs – much less guitar.

After two years in Hawaii we moved back to the mainland and settled in a little town called Fairfax nestled in the hills of Marin County.  The kids were a little older and not so demanding by then and that’s when I had time to pick up that sweet classical guitar, teach myself a few chords and I started playing songs from my childhood and other folk music for my kids in pre-school, nursery school and 1st through 4th grade when all of a sudden the Bee Gee’s hit.  After that my children thought my songs were just too juvenile for them and I stopped going to their school to play for their classrooms.

One day while I sat in my living room, feeling quite musically rejected by my own children, I closed my eyes and quietly asked what I was supposed to do with myself now that the kids were in school and I had all this free time on my hands.  I “got the message” intuitively that I was supposed to write my own original songs and communicate my thoughts and feelings through them.

I was doing just that one spring morning when the doorbell rang.  I had my guitar in hand when I answered the door and standing there was a young man who introduced himself as Dallas Smith, a Fuller Brush salesman.  I told him I was just too busy writing a song to look at Fuller Brushes and his eyes opened wide. He smiled and said he was really a musician and would love to hear my song.  He was studying flute with Ali Akbar Khan, whom I heard was living in Marin,. Something about Dallas’ gentle demeanor made me trust him and so I invited him onto the porch, I played my song for him and as we talked, found out he was from Columbus Georgia and had gone to the same high school as me but we didn’t know each other back then.  I found that quite amazing!  Out of the blue, someone from Columbus, GA, who went the same high school as me, is at my door.  He asked if he could come back later in the day with his flute and I said yes and “that” was the beginning of my musical journey. 

Dallas got our first real gig at The Sleeping Lady Café in Fairfax, CA and we went on to play several other venues and music festivals in Marin County.  That was 37 years ago and he and I have recently reconnected through the internet.  I found out that he has a very successful business in Reno where he lives with his wife who plays electric harp.  Their business is called Healing Healthcare Systems and they provide healing music and videos to hospitals.   He is also in a band called Mynta and they tour India and Sweden. Back then Dallas helped me form my first band consisting of tabla, sitar, bass, flute and me on guitar.  After several gigs together, we dissolved due to other demands in each of our lives and he went on to pursue his dreams while I continued raising my children, writing songs and eventually formed my first rock band called “Siren.”  By then I had a Les Paul guitar and a Marshall Stack! Siren was made up of a bass player, lead guitar player, drummer and me.  We were just beginning to build a following by playing College concerts when my drummer passed away from a brain aneurysm in his sleep on the first night of a two night booking at Chico College in Northern California.  That was such a blow.   It devastated me and although the other band members wanted to continue, my heart just wasn’t into it and I went back to sitting in my living room writing songs and stayed busy with my children.

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One day a guitar-teacher friend named David Fromer invited me to a house concert where I met a wonderful man named Matt Kramer, who was living in Los Angeles and booking the Troubadour.  Eventually Matt became my manager and we traveled up and down the West Coast touring colleges and doing house concerts.  I also performed at McCabe’s and The Troubadour as well as Westwood Art Faire. During that time my husband was making connections with the management of some of the biggest rock groups in San Francisco like Journey, The Doobie Brothers, The Tubes, Hewey Lewis and the News, Pablo Cruise and The Grateful Dead designing their album covers and hiring the best graphic artists in San Francisco, like Stanley Mouse and Alton Kelley, to render the art. Eventually the manager of Journey heard one of my songs and asked me to open for Journey at the Old Waldorf Hotel the night Steve Perry joined the band.  Here I was, a folk singer in a long skirt, standing alone in front of 1000 screaming Journey fans,  singing Jimmy Hendrick’s “Fly On My Sweet Angel.”  That took guts!

Later on I went into the studio with members of Pablo Cruise, The Tubes, Hewey Lewis and The News and Steve Miller Band to make various demos of my songs.  I loved working with such high caliber musicians and top level recording studios.  I recorded at The Record Plant, Wally Heider and Patrick Gleeson’s studio, Different Fur. We created a lot of great music but for various reasons it didn’t “make it.”  The powers listening said they “didn’t hear the hit.”  And sooner or later the bands went out on the road and I was left with great demos and no band – this was a very depressing period for me because I had the drive, ambition and in my opinion the talent – but in the end that wasn’t enough.

Feeling quite defeated by my aspirations to sing rock and roll, I retreated from the business for a while and started studying with a great vocal coach, Judy Davis, who had a studio in Oakland.   In her class, I not only learned how to protect and strengthen my voice, I also trained my voice and ear by singing the great standards like the ones I heard in my living room as a young girl.  Singing the standards was the way Judy taught articulation. The result of that was me performing in a showcase in San Francisco where several managers from Los Angeles came to check out talent.  That’s where I met Chuck Bennett who then became my manager and I started working on a show doing cover tunes like “I’m So Excited” by the Pointer Sisters and “I’m Not Leaving Without You” from Dreamgirls.  We took the show to Singapore to the Mandarin Hotel for a month to work out any bugs and after that to the MGM Grand Hotel in Reno.  It was in Reno where I had my first experience with vocal problems.  Performing two shows a night, six nights a week took its toll and I had to have cortisone shots in my throat to take down the swelling.  That’s when I realized that I didn’t want to continue in that direction. The words I “heard” in my living room years before were speaking to me again, “You were meant to communicate through your own original songs.” 

About this time my husband gave me an ultimatum “Give up your music career or give me up.”  So I gave him up and moved to Los Angeles.  This was the most traumatic period of my life.  I found myself emotionally devastated from being separated from my children who chose to stay with their father in Marin County, where all their friends were, and realizing that I had to get a job to pay my bills because my husband hid all our assets and I received no alimony whatsoever after eighteen years of marriage.  I realized I had to put my music on the back burner, again, and there it stayed for a good 10 years.

While working at a company called Medallion TV on Sunset Blvd., I met my next husband who was in the film distribution business.  We would frequently go out to the piano bars at the Cock and Bull and Mirabelle’s on Sunset Blvd.  So, of course, I would end up singing and eventually was offered a steady gig at a restaurant in Santa Monica called The Round Table.  One Saturday I decided to add a saxophone player to my show and went to Santa Monica Music Center to introduce myself to a player I had heard about.  I was told he was playing in a park close by with a jazz trio hired for a children’s park grand opening.  That’s where I met Terry Cano, who was playing keyboards. Terry and I started a relationship – which ended my second marriage.  He supported my dream of making an album of original music and over a period of four years produced my “Timeless” CD in our studio called Bird and Bear Studios in North Hollywood. The songs on “Timeless” were written over a period of many years and my friend, Dallas, performed “Sailin” (the second track) with me at The Sleeping Lady Café in Fairfax, CA, thirty-seven years prior. Terry and I went on to perform the great standards and swing music for hundreds of casuals, Elks and Moose Clubs, Country Clubs and Retirement homes in Los Angeles and Bakersfield.  

Soon I started performing my originals again at venues like Kulak’s Woodshed, The Talking Stick, The Guitar Merchant, Hallenbeck’s, Vitello’s, the M Bar in Hollywood, The Coffee Gallery and many others.  I became a member of Los Angeles Women in Music and served on the Board for over 5 years.  It was at Kulaks Woodshed where I met percussionist, producer Steve Reid.  We completed my second album, “Focus on the Light,” even though both of us were slowed down a bit by various medical conditions.

Music continues to flow through my heart, mind and spirit and as long as I can sing, I will.  I meet the most wonderful and interesting people.  I do it for the “love of it.” Creating and performing music continues to be a magical journey that fulfills my soul".

---Shanna has moved to Bakersfield, Ca where she sits in with local established players in various venues and has recently formed a band called "Waterfall" with her new love and percussionist, Greg Stanley. They will debut on April 27, 2018 at Bakersfield's Cafe Smitten. Shanna plans to release a new album by the end of 2018 as her music keeps flowing and flowing.

Essays-Skyler Reed

Music Emerging has collected essays from four musical women, a musical trio and myself. A simple word: struggles. I asked these women to send me essays about their musical journeys and their struggles. Hope you find inspiration in these personal stories.

Skyler Reed-Atlanta, GA

     "Music has been an influence on my life since childhood. I was automatically drawn to it, and having a musical mother only added to my passion. I have always felt a deep connection with R&B music, and the classics from this genre have been the theme songs to my life. I was never really interested in much else besides music, so when it came time to decide on a career, the decision was evident. I’ve always been a big dreamer and a chaser of what some may perceive as far fetched.

 I was born and raised in Wilmington, Delaware for the first nine years of my life, and I remember my mother playing many records from impactful singers like, Whitney Houston and Lauryn Hill. A pivotal moment in my childhood was the when my mother sang a Whitney Houston song to me. I knew that singing was what I had to do. As a child, I enjoyed performing at family functions, which evolved into school functions throughout my teen years.

My mother unfortunately passed when I was nine years old. The only way I knew how to deal with that was through music. I was taken in by my aunt and uncle, and was given a journal to express myself. I ended up writing my first song and winning a poetry slam in the seventh grade. My intention was not to make people cry, but I realized at that moment that I could impact the world through my lyrics. I continue to write, as a form of therapy, and with the desire to somehow help people get through their situations.

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When college time came around, I decided to major in vocal performance at Virginia State University. I studied Classical music, which was a great way to learn proper technique. I then had to decide exactly what I wanted to pursue, because I have a background in several genres of music. I decided to go with my first love, R&B, because it’s soulful, has elements of Hip-Hop music, and I am free when I sing it. I get to write my own words, and sing melodies I choose, as opposed to singing notes written on a page and telling stories of composers.

Being an artist, period, is challenging. The competition is at an all time high, and they are continuously flowing in. This makes booking gigs and growing a fan base difficult. This also makes for a lot of false relationships and trickery. I have been in situations where I worked with people I thought had my best interest in mind. It turned out they were speaking false truths, and using me for their own gain. It’s hard to create genuine relationships and a proactive network this way, so I have learned to be very picky with whom I associate myself. I’ve also learned how important it is to do my research, and not go into a situation blind.

I have self-managed my career as well as playing almost every other role an artist needs.  I only outsource for things I clearly can’t do, like producing a beat and engineering my sessions. I like being self reliant, and I think being this way in the beginning stages of my career is beneficial. I’m learning what each position takes. I’m fascinated with how the music business runs, and I pride myself in being more than just a singer.

Being an artist is one of the bigger pieces to a giant puzzle of dreams I have. I love the challenge of constantly growing, and the fulfillment I get. I’ve never been more driven about something in my life. I hope to inspire and heal the world through my music. I believe everyone has a purpose, and I want to encourage people to pursue it. You really only have one life." 

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Interview: Donna Lynn Caskey-The Love Still Shows interview and photos by Cynthia Brando

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     I consider myself very fortunate to have met Donna Lynn Caskey-in an intimidating city of often ego centric artists-she is a beacon of light; a person that exudes a warmth and friendliness that is gentle and calm in the bustling and turbulent city of greater Los Angeles. We met through the singer songwriter circle and got to collaborate musically where I got to know her better through the process of songwriting. Her process was inspiring and foreign to me-a free form exploratory style of which the jewels were selected; I would later come to find that this embodies her artistic personality. Her latest album, "The Love Still Shows", which she recorded with Ed Tree at his San Gabriel studio, is garnering attention on the folk music scene. I wanted to learn more about Donna Lynn and met with her at her home in Ventura, California.

M.E. “Do you like collecting banjos-why do you have so many?”

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D.L.C.  “Part of it, is that you tune five string banjos differently to get different tunings. For the longest time, I only had one. My first banjo I had since 1999. I got it at Happy’s Fleamarket in Virginia. I wore part of it off learning to play. I started playing it in earnest in 2001. The second banjo I got was fretless and that served a different purpose. Banjos started out fretless; at that time I was playing a lot of old time music and it was really cool to play fretless banjo with fretless fiddle-because it’s not a tempered scale. Frets are an approximation of notes, so it was really cool; you can actually get more in tune, believe it or not, and then you can also get those fun micro tones in between notes, so it was fun to have that as a color….so that was my second banjo-the third one I got was to get more key access. I got the third one around the time I started playing open mics more and going out; so it was nice to not spend my whole 15 minutes tuning…I bought another one out of someone’s trunk. This one came out of a friends neighbors shed for free and it sounded good tuned down. The oldest one; the flea market one…..this one really spoke to me; the one with the star-it’s a Vega; it’s from the 20’s. I walked away from it a couple of times. It feels like my big girl banjo and it’s probably the one I play the most. It just has a really great sweet sound. I was in Santa Monica and popped into McCabes because they have a banjo room and I can’t help myself. This one was unassuming; kind of hung on a lower part of a side wall; not very flashy or anything. I picked it up and it felt very good. Then I looked at the price tag and said…ooooohhh…I have good taste! I had five banjos at that point; so I put it back. A week later I was back and I didn’t see it and my heart fell, but then I saw it, and then a birthday was coming up in a couple of months…but I walked away from it again; but then I called them and asked them to hold it; “I’m sorry I walked away from you!” The latest one I got is a baritone banjo; so it’s tuned down. My home of lost and found wayward banjos”…

M.E.  “What was it about the banjo that made you have the epiphany that it was your instrument?”

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D.L.C.  “Part of it was Mike Seeger making it seem so accessible, but I was already in love with it; the sound of it; something quirkily humble about it. I like music that touches my heart, or music that gives me goose bumps or makes me feel or think. I would go to the Roanoke Blue Grass Club and hear these versions of Shady Grove that were amazing. I loved that ensemble of high ringing banjos, but there was something very soulful to me when I heard people play clawhammer old time songs. That style was geared toward accompanying yourself singing. I had that love of singing, so that style spoke to me, and so I first learned clawhammer; frailing which is the family of the style I play.”

M.E.  “Which one is your oldest banjo?”

D.L.C  “This one is the oldest; it is from 1890-the brand is Gatcomb. It’s funny because I posted something on Facebook when I acquired it and the current owner of the Gatcomb company; someone who works for them found me about a year ago because they were trying to gather stuff for the current owner’s birthday; so I sent a cd and I got a thank you message; it was a bigger company back in the day, and now is smaller I think. How I got it-a couple years ago it was Labor Day weekend and my sister Cathy who lives in Ohio sent me an email with a pic of a banjo and a written sign in squiggly paint-“200 dollars OBO”-so I wrote back; for that price, get it-I didn’t know it was from the 1800’s. I looked up the serial number; there’s a Gatcomb company registry; from the serial number you can see what year is was made….I knew it had belonged to this guy in his 80’s-it was a one day flea market. Labor Day weekend in Ohio; he said it belonged to his grandfather and it been wrapped in a sheet in his closet for decades. He was happy it was going to someone who would play it. I play traditional songs on it; I also play a couple of Christmas songs on it and  there was one song I wrote on it….

Banjo’s ancestry is African. Instruments that were gords with a stick in them and got strings; and when people were enslaved here, they built similar instruments and that evolved to what we know of as the banjo-and then; the early banjos through the 1800’s, most of them had gut strings.”

M.E.  “Tell me about your latest recording.”

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D.L.C.  “It was in process for awhile-this will be my second; I started recording demos for it over a year ago, but I had this back log of songs. I had some I was clear would go on the new recording and then I had some other songs that were just nice to make a demo of it and have some sort of documentation of it. And in the process of recording demos, I had some songs that I felt there was something to them but they didn’t feel finished; so in the process these songs evolved into more finished forms. I wrote songs for 12 years before I even made my first album. I started writing songs while only playing banjo for 3 months. I was learning everything as I went along; I got my feet wet with recording demos during that time; in a lot of peoples home studios.”

M.E.  “You haven’t felt the sense of rushing to do anything with music?”

D.L.C.  “Well, sometimes there’s self generated pressure, and also people wanted recordings from me or liked certain songs. When I made my first one it was clear that there were several songs that people had been asking me for, for years, that meant something to someone, so it was clear that those meant more to someone that just me, and it would be good to finally provide that. I had written forever, but it took awhile for my banjo playing to catch up to my songs. I was writing songs that were over my head; some of my songs-it took me quite awhile to have the skill to play the banjo to play my own songs; I still encounter that-writing songs beyond my singing skills.”

M.E.  “In your bio, you were made fun of for singing and subdued yourself”

D.L.C.  “Sometimes when I ‘m singing I’m trying to work through the obstacle course of my own feelings and body and physicality and to communicate through all that; my own personal obstacles; sometimes it’s like an out of body experience. Like I’m a lightening rod; it ‘s almost like there is so much energy; it hasn’t felt totally natural to be on stage; it’s a highly activating experience; people looking at you and bright lights; dealing with my glasses and standing a certain way for the microphone; it has it’s own set of skills. Learning what I can do to take care of myself to still feel my feet on the ground to try to be in my body as much as possible and not just freak out.”

M.E.  “So you are part of a calendar featuring women and banjos called “Banjo Babes”-how did that come about?”

D.L.C.  “It’s not my project; I’ve been in it the last 3 years. There is this banjo player based out of San Luis Obispo-Erin English. Her dad plays accordion and there was an accordion calendar for years, and she’s rather enterprising, so at some point in the summer of 2013, she contacted me and some other female banjo players around the world. The first one- we had a banjo player from Uzbekistan who was the only banjo player, far as she knew, in Uzbekistan. Erin asked if I wanted to be a part of this thing….so I”ve been in it the past 3 years; it’s mostly about the music but a fun way to get it out there.”

M.E.  “Part of your creative process is to create collages, and many of them! What is it about this art form that you are drawn to?”

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D.L.C.  “There’s something about a collage-I can’t take myself too seriously-it’s like 3rd grade with glue sticks and torn paper; magazines that I get out of the break room at work or recycled bins. I’m not trying to make some major artistic statement. It’s just tearing through magazines and anything that catches my eye or my heart or makes me laugh in the moment, and then just ripping it out and taping or pasting it together on cheap sketchbook paper. A lot of it is based on Jungian psychology, and Jung talked about “active imagination”-he had these huge books of drawings and writings-art that was not necessarily for the sake of being on the wall, but just to create as your own symbolism in the moment and to process your life creatively. It’s kind of fun for me to make these because I don’t always know what they are about but it’s interesting looking at them because I’ll see parallels I didn’t notice when I was making them. I got more insights about what was going on with me by looking at them. Sometimes there are themes-keys or hearts-hearts are a big deal with me. This one has a rodent theme. It’s playful and child like.”

M.E.  “Is that how you approach music a lot of times?”

D.L.C.  “I try to be seriously playful about music, but also it helps me when I’m getting serious in a way that doesn’t seem to serve me or the art-because sometimes I can get really serious “I really care about this a lot and I want it to be perfect”, and I get stressed about it and anxious and insecure….so it’s counter productive……to have a lightness about it is important. Collage is helpful because sometimes I’ll be working on a collage at the same time as a song-sometimes I’ve made collages around a song I’m working n and it’s helped me find a word in a song.”

M.E.  “My favorite tune on the new album is “Look at Me,” printed here. Can you talk about what this song represents for you-is it about learning to accept ourselves fully?”  


Look at Me

I confess I dress to impress you

Every day I cast a spell

Paint my face and don a costume

To be the one you love so well

 

Look at me- but not so closely now

Look at me- but not so close

Look at me- but not so closely now

Look at me- not so close!

 

Tailor made to fit and to flatter

Accentuate, slim, trim and hide

Designs to attract and distract you

Looking slick but sick inside

 

Look at me- but not so closely now

Look at me- but not so close

Look at me- but not so closely now

Look at me- not so close!

 

Dressed to kill a secret sorrow

Dressed to fill an empty ache

Dressed to win your approval

And still I didn’t feel okay

 

I’m sorry for the ways I used you

I’m sorry for the times I lied

I’m sorry for my confusion

Begging for what you can’t provide

 

Today I dress to please myself

A grey-green hat to match my eyes

Patchwork kaleidoscopic color

I feel at ease shed my disguise

I feel at ease shed my disguise

 

Look at me- closer now

Look at me- come close

Look at me- come closer now

Look at me- and let me see

©2016 Donna Lynn Caskey (P) Cordulia Music BMI

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D.L.C.  “For me, this song represents and explores some of the ways and reasons we as humans might present a front to other people. The ways we can, consciously and unconsciously, create and craft our identity and the image of ourselves we project into the world. What will we highlight and accentuate? What will we omit or downplay? How will we “curate our content” and “embody our brand” as the ubiquitous marketing buzzwords of the day proclaim? What are we proud of, and what do we hide in shame? Look at me! Pay attention to me! Like me! Love me! Reassure me! Seeking external validation. Clothes, manner of dress can be part of it for sure, but to me, the clothing symbolizes much more than that. For example, a case could be made that just about anything and everything posted on social media is a form of, “look at me!” This song also explores the possibility of showing up as-is, in our regular clothes, so to speak. To validate ourselves, to allow ourselves to be seen more fully; and what might we see when not so preoccupied with managing our own image and impression?”

M.E.  “Do you think there is a larger issue with women and how they choose to dress for men?”

D.L.C.  “Though the narrator of the song makes reference to painting one’s face with makeup and some of the lyrics could also double as fashion magazine headlines targeted at women, I experience the act of putting on a facade of some sort, creating or presenting a story of one’s identity, as a universal human experience that transcends gender. That said, I see where societal gender conventions, messages, and expectations can influence differences in the manner women and men may present a facade.” 

M.E.  “So we both are musicians who are entering the mid stage of our lives and still doing our music-what keeps you going?”

D.L.C.  “It’s funny to me that I feel called and compelled in some way to express myself, share songs publicly, perform, even though it is often not easy or comfortable for me. Look at me?! In most ways, I actually prefer folks didn’t. A big part of what keeps me going when I’m tempted to retreat into a more quiet, private, inward life are the messages I regularly receive from people, often strangers, that the songs I share encourage them in their own lives. A few of many examples- someone recently wrote to thank me since they inexplicably woke up with my song “Time Of Delight” stuck in their head, and that it set a great intention for their day. Another person told me she finds herself singing that song every time she works in her garden. A teacher wrote that listening to my first album helped her prepare her classroom for the year and to serve her students. Someone wrote me that the song “I Am Willing” was in their head the morning they were heading into surgery, and that it brought them peace, comfort, strength, and hope. Another said the lyrics of “It Ain’t Personal” helped him face some difficult tasks. Others have said the song “Beauty Queen” makes them feel better about themselves and their appearance. In the title track of the album, “The Love Still Shows,” I make reference to "my heart touched by a hopeful song" as one of the seemingly little but truly huge things that have “seen me through" life. If any of the songs on the album touch someone's heart in a way that helps them through their day, wonderful.”

 

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Interview: Holli Moon-Objects of Desire Interview by Cynthia Brando

photo by Cynthia Brando

photo by Cynthia Brando

     Walking into Holli’s beautiful Beverly Hills home is like walking onto the set of one of those perfect homes you see in magazines like Home and Garden, which showcases beautifully decorated abodes. It was light and elegant, with her equally elegant pastel-like paintings throughout. Her home is how she describes her art, “my art is Hallmark; it’s like comfort art”…Currently based in Beverly Hills, she also lived in Manhattan for many years and divides her time between the coasts. One of her talented daughters is Hannah Rose of the New York band, “Luna Rose.” Music and artistic talents run in the family…

M.E.  “Were your parents artists?”

H.M.  “My mom passed away a couple years ago and she was my greatest inspiration. She was the reason I became an artist-literally-painting, singing…she had beautiful voice. She put me into private lessons and that was it for me. My dad was an amazing self taught photographer, and he worked for the L.A. Times, and some of the really cool photos that you see-he did; like the old Jane Mansfield photo with Sophia Loren; he also started his own newspaper….My parents were super talented in different ways; I was the one that really took it and ran with it. When I had my kids, Hannah and Abby, they were surrounded by it. When I was first pregnant with Hannah, I was singing full time; studio, film; television and painting on a scaffold 20 feet high while pregnant; so that’s all they ever saw their mom do. I was singing here in L.A. at all the clubs; the Whiskey, Madame Hopsings; some that aren’t even here anymore. I was born and raised in Los Angeles, but lived in New York a long time”.

M.E.  “What are the pros and cons of being an artist in New York and in Los Angeles?”

H.M.  “Manhattan is so accessible-Los Angeles you have to be in a car and I hate that. The club scene isn’t as cool in L.A. as it is in N.Y.; all the young and up and coming bands; the indie rock groups like my daughters band Luna Rose; they’re just killing it out there in lower Manhattan; there’s so much more accessibility; Here in L.A.-20-25 years ago; it used to be amazing. Places closed down; the House of Blues-that’s crazy to me; so my thought in moving back to L.A. after being in N.Y. was that I could get a clean slate after a divorce, and I had art contacts here, and my daughter Abby, for acting; I thought this would be a good place. I lucked out-I found a studio in Culver City-this guy David Sigman who is an amazing artist-sculpture artist; I found a cool little vibe over in Culver City and now he’s taking the studio that I’ve been in and renovating it now; but it’s happening here; a real cool area"…

M.E.  “How would you describe your painting style?”

photo by Cynthia Brando

photo by Cynthia Brando

photo by Cynthia Brando

photo by Cynthia Brando

H.M.  “My art is Hallmark art-it’s like comfort art, but  I also love vibrant color; it’s all internal; the art always has something to do with what is going on in my life. You can see in this impressionistic painting of Manhattan; this was me missing Manhattan; that was a day I was so sad…and here you see the Lighthouse-that has everything to do with me and my girls and home base…I was trained by some really amazing classical artists and plein air artists-and I used to live in Carmel. In Carmel it was all little small landscape type paintings and that was too tight for me; so what’s ironic, is that I got back into a gallery in Carmel with an abstract piece; now I’m a lot more abstract then I used to be. These pieces are about balance-I was just really in a zone when I started painting those, and I wanted them to be calming-it was really important to me-I really seek art balance like that. I’m a true Libran quintessential artist I guess! I love Juan Claude Basquiat. So this new piece I’m working on; I’m starting the process of graffiti like art-it’s a start-a funky idea. This is totally different; my Indian Corn. I did a show in Southern Utah and I did all South Western art. I have Cherokee Indian blood in me; so I love the whole South Western theme….If you say things out loud-the universe listens…it really does. I used to say “I’m gonna live in Carmel one day-I will be in New York one day”…and I did it; and you kind of don’t believe it-but it really does happen."

photo by Cynthia Brando

photo by Cynthia Brando

photo by Cynthia Brando

photo by Cynthia Brando

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M.E.  “Besides being an accomplished artist, you are also a singer. How did that come about?”

photo by Cynthia Brando

photo by Cynthia Brando

H.M.  “I started singing when I was in second or third grade, and then got the bug when someone saw me. I started when I was in high school when I was thirteen. I had my first band called Rock Candy-we played everything-Southern Rock, Fleetwood Mac…and that was the bug-and someone saw me perform and then I got my first radio station jingle when I was thirteen. I was so excited. I knew I wanted to do that for the rest of my life”…. At thirteen, it was all rock when I started to write songs; Stevie Nick was my idol and Janis Joplin, and all the rock chics-Tina Turner…and then, later, I learned jazz. Jazz is so intimidating, but I could hear it. I think from having the experience as a studio singer and doing lots of different styles. I didn’t perform jazz until my late 20’s and then when I moved to New York, there were a lot of jazz clubs. Here, I still perform with the jazz people that I met in my 20’s-great people like Tom Zinc and Melvin Davis who played with Chaka Khan and Anita Baker. When I came back here to Los Angeles, I got together with these really seasoned jazz guys; John Mayer, Chris Conner; these guys are giants.”

M.E.  “Do you have any thoughts or feelings about being in the music industry and age?”

H.M.  “To me, it just enhances us and makes us more beautiful from the inside out. I have some amazing artists friends that are so beautiful; like to the core beautiful and I honestly think that if we can keep it going and not stress out over the crap-the stresses of life and finances…it’s not always consistent being an artist; but the key is that you gotta do what you love, no matter what age-I could not do it any differently-people say to me, “I don’t know how you do it Holli, you always land on your feet-you keep it going”, but it's because I’m an artist. If you stop-you’re dead. You have to juggle a lot of things…..I do stuff on the side sometimes like catering; because cooking is my third passion. This is a funny story and is so L.A.-I got a call to cater a dinner for a medium, so I thought, “this will be fun”-and then she said, “It’s a dinner for Estelle Getty, Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor-they’re all coming.” So I said, “Ok-cool, this is awesome!” So I did a sit down dinner for eight people; full on chicken cordon bleu….my daughter was my assistant and she said, “what are you doing?’ “Just go with it”, I said…I set it all out-and then the witching hour hit, and there was a camera crew and the medium and the friend; we served the food and the door rang and the medium said, “we would like to welcome Marilyn and Elizabeth and Estelle”…..I’ve done some crazy stuff.”

M.E.  “What’s your biggest struggle as an artist?”

H.M.  “Financial-because when you’ve been doing it as long as I have you’ve got to keep it going, and I’m never gonna quit-but you have to pull that extra income-that’s hard; to do what you want; if I could be a full time singer…that would be it. Honestly, I don’t feel my age…I started out as a singer-songwriter, and I’m going to go out as one.”

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